meant to take a photo ; didn't turn out so well.
lol ; but ya / decided to post it anyway!
HAPPY PRIDE WEEKEND ;
& RIP MJ.
Jun 22, 2009
7:23 AM
lmaoooooo
6:52 AM
it's seven in the morning. i've been up all night.
thinking . talking watching movie. surprisingly my
heart has been at peace. & even though the left side
of my head is throbbing from the pain of my wisdom tooth
i am not complaining. --- another random thought .
I've been thinking about changing my cell number again.
My eyes are watering, and I keep yawning. I suppose that's my Que.
I'm going to sleep for a few hours; then out & about. Errands to run
Hopefully the weather keeps improving.
I never thought I'd say I miss the hot & sticky nights. no hoodies needed.
Labels: good morning
Jun 21, 2009
5:19 PM
this is my favorite song/ cover
celina has ever made . . . the first
song i've listened to by her ; her voice so
powerful & sweet. i love it
& the original
4:38 AM
I remember speaking to my mother, and she asked me... "Where did you lose yourself?" I don't even think I gave the question any thought, but as I sit here quarter to 5 in the morning I've come to realize that I only co-exist in my body. I have a head on my shoulders, and although I have not continued to post secondary education just as yet. I am well educated. I am not a sheep, I lead my own way. I have plans, so getting caught up in other people's negative acts is totally unacceptable. I can admit to myself that I've lost myself somewhere down the line. Maybe it was the day I met her. Maybe it was within the plans of being happy and building a home with her. Or maybe I just didn't recover from the bad break up with him...
I don't know, but as I sit here and type this, with every blink of the eye tears form. I know it's healthy to cry, but I've been holding everything in. From the disrespectful insults she spat at me. From the face of an individual who caused chaos in my relationship. Or from the uneducated, roommate spreading tales, to heighten her self esteem. To me sitting in the dark typing this entry. Yet they won't fall. I've tried so hard to restrain myself from becoming who I once was as an adolescent, no one wants to get hurt, but sometimes I get this unremarkable evil glare in my eyes. One in which destruction follows. I don't want to be the person that hurts people. I want karma to take it's own form in the universe and have it deal with the individuals, but once my adrenaline starts pumping, it's hard to stop. So maybe once I take the time and let all my frustration out, and just focus on my goals for the rest of the year & then I'll be good. I really do hope so. I can't stand feeling unhappy & incomplete, because no matter how much I go out and try to take my mind off of things. I still end up in the same place. In the dark thinking about where I lost myself. Someone hand me a GPS, I don't want to be lost anymore.
I've spent so much time loving her, being there for them. Helping them, and not giving myself all of what I needed. I love me, and I need to show ME, some more love. On my journey of finding myself. & Once I've gotten there. I'll be switching titles but for now Walk with me.
Labels: deep, emotional, fighter, frustrated, insight, journey
3:42 AM
re-post of this video ; inspired by my lovely
BFF : ALY-BABA .
too bad ; some of the information in the video was changed.
not only are females the source of the bullshit and drama ; but males too
another thing changed since the video.
I've become somewhat of a spiteful bitch. Being humble
and quiet gets taken advantage of; so let's play with fire.
I guarantee you, I have the upper hand.
Originally created Feb.24.09
1:55 AM
depression ; is an evil thing. Trying not to fall into it too deep .
but I still have my sanity, my allison & my luis. So, I'm pretty
sure I'll be alright. Plus, Luis is drawing up my new tattoo design
so that's something to smile about. I'm getting my head back in the
game.
Go hard or not at all.
Jun 12, 2009
9:36 AM
i hate liars! she lies, like running water & yet
she is still privilaged, to be apart of my life.
i can't take it anymore. friend or lover. i can't
keep assiciating with folks that just want to hurt me.
Labels: love, relationships
Jun 9, 2009
1:34 PM
i'd watch it ; *shrugs*
Labels: fox
Jun 8, 2009
11:00 PM
As I sit in the living room, I realize that there is no official age that someone gets to when they actually mature. We have a 27 year old woman, running around like a chicken with her head cut off complaining about not getting enough attention from her roommates. Seriously dude?! Get over it. When you’re not apart of the equation the house is a home, it is peaceful and not to mention the house remains CLEAN. I’m not another of you other roommates, I ill not spare your feelings if you come at me. You cannot call yourself a grown woman yet you’re throwing temper tantrums because you can’t find the remote control for the television and the digital cable box. Once someone else actually takes the time to look for the item, and successfully finds it, you want to slam doors? Grow the fuck up. & for the record as a 27 year old woman you should know to brush your teeth. NASTY!
Jun 4, 2009
5:25 AM
so I said i was going to bed how long ago?
The first time I said it was about 11:30.
it's 5:25am. REALLY POSH? this is kinda ridiculous!
but I had a random thought ; a thought of a juvenile female
whom I'll leave nameless.
Dear: Nameless
You breed drama. Get over yourself.
Everytime you see me ; you stand at the
opposite side of the club and just stare at me
Are you kidding me? Say something!!
Then I'll randomly log into my msn account
and you'll add me under your new email address
but WHY? Are we friends? No! Do we speak? No! Do you have a problem
with me? Only, when your girl isn't around.... That seems to be
the only time you have a jaw & a tongue.
Like chill ; she's old news, you've never been any type of
good news so RELAX. You can have your "fake" family.
Yes the terms of which your base your relations on are fake.
I don't care for you, nor do I give a rats ass about your girl.
Creep! Get a life.
Sincerely :
Just another chick that doesn't like you.
=)
Labels: creep, liar, LOL, loser, nameless
4:35 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY
you're getting old now!
especially if I'm feeling old by
only being twenty one!
nah I'm just kidding; but I love you.
You gave me life; our relationship has
sucked for a large majority of my life
but I love you anyway. So who's down
to come with me to bring my mother out
for dinner this weekend? Baba? Lol!
4:20 AM
It's 4:20 in the morning! Why the hell am I still awake!
I was tired before I got in the shower and washed my hair ; I got out and POW! Not sleepy at all anymore. So, I've been sitting on the phone with someone for a quick minute, and I just wanted to make it clear that; I've never got so many mixed feelings from so many different girls in one day. Earlier on, I had to be the rude bitch and hang up in someones ear, because I didn't like the tone that they were speaking to me in.
Hours later, I get a phone call with a much more calm voice, and a more welcoming tone. I always seem to try to conduct real important conversations when I'm high! I don't even know why but it happens. I don't do it purposely, it just happens that people want to talk about real important shit, when I'm under the influence. Thank God, I'm no air head. Next, I log into msn and I'm bombarded with messages, in which annoy me because I'm told I'm being rude, or mean because I have a life, and I can't be at every beck & call. Then the individual calls my cellular and is all calm and "i miss you" phrases. LOL.... & comes off the phone because she said "I want to see you" ---- and my response was "Uh, really?" Then I hear "ARR, I'm going to bed!" and I'm here like umm okay! CLICK.
Like jeesh ; I thought I was an attention freak; but apparently I've grown out of it. As I grew up I realized that not everyone was going to be there when you wanted them to be there. Whether I was going through something or not. I don't ask people to rearrange their schedules so we can "chill" so I'll be damned if I do it for anyone. Definately not now anyway. I've got too much on the brain, too much to take care of. A lot of acheiving to do. & deadlines I've set for myself.
& I'm the last person to ask to sit by you while you dish out your many mood swings!
Labels: annoyed, females, relationships