I like to think I'm a pretty fair person when it comes to my needs; and associating them along with another individuals. Sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to at all times. I'm about to start ranting ; so if you don't want to know about it ; don't read it.

I used to talk to this female, who happened to be really jealous when it came to me getting attention from other people. In the beginning it was cute. Making sure it was known that we had something going on to the public... That's how it always starts huh? Being Cute. Well, as you can probably guess, it stopped being cute, and got to the point where she was always coming at me sideways for being complimented by different people. She used to go crazy at me when other people tried to get at me; although I paid these other individuals no mind. So it came to a point where I was like forget it, I can't help that people show interest in me. I do the right and respectful thing by not responding to it; or shoo'ing it away. What more do you want? Stop taking photos, stop making videos, stop being attractive? Sorry it's not happening so cut your losses. I'm out.

So, we've had ackward conversations onces in a blue moon ever since, and I addressed it today. We apologized for making each other upset. We spoke about the feelings, and the thoughts we were both having at the time. & that conversation ended with well... "I miss you... I miss US". I don't mean to roll my eyes, but my first reaction was "I miss you too". Then I rolled my eyes, because I knew where she was headed with that statement. So am I wrong for letting her know that I'm not looking for anything right now; I'm busy trying to take care of my shit, & I'm investing all my time and energy into handling my shit & achieving my goals? How would me telling her, "yeah I miss you, & us, let's get back to it" be fair? For one it's not the truth because in all honesty, dispite her apology for her acting out, and apology doesn't mean she's changed. An apology doesn't secure the future. You can miss someone without wanting to be with them.

If my intentions are to invest all of my time and energy into building myself up. How would it be fair to string an individual along side of me? So I guess you should already know that she went off, "Keep your focus then. Whatever Bye." Along with a whole bunch of other shit; that was totally unneccessary. I'm just saying. I wouldn't want to be the female on the side coming second to anything. & I'm not about to put anyone in that situation when I can avoid it. What's with people rushing shit lately. I mean, I know the script a little too well. I know how the story ends. Sorry to sparing feelings... I don't see how I hurt her feelings while trying to spare them. I didn't tell her. "chill, I'd never take it there with you again" so why is she trippin'. It's all well and good that you have your shit sorted out; can I get mines please. Like wtf!? So... maybe I should say fuck being fair! Should I allow you to jump in full fledge, knowing I'm not going to be around? C'mon now, let's be real. There is nothing in between the lines. Stop trying to find subliminal messsages. I said what was right for me. If you want to jump into shit blind eye again. Be my guest, but it's not happening with me.

Speaking of fair, having you slander my name and tell me I wasn't shit, and I was never there for you, wouldn't be fair to me either. So btch jump off my back & move on if you want to play these little children games. ---- Anyways, I gotta get back to this project. You can leave your comments --> [in the cbox] let me know if I'm being fair or no.

Labels: fair, jealousy, rant, relationships