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Jan 9, 2009
3:11 AM

How could this possibly be? Is this what she means by she's been tossing and turning all night. I've been so uncomfortable, and my mind has been in such a frenzy. I finally roll over hoping to at least see 6 o'clock. Hoping some sort of significant time has gone by; but why is it ONLY 3:10. So I've literally been tossing and turning for the past 3 hours. This is going to be an extra long night. & Thus far I haven't confided in anyone else but her. I don't really want to bring my issue to someone else. How did this happen. I wasn't even in full compliance with what has been happening to me. It feels like it happened over night, but I know better than to think something like that. So as I still listen to the same lyrics that I've been listening to since 11pm last night. I lay here with a million thoughts on my mind. I can't take this. I think I'ma just head to the living room & play video games until I fall asleep on the couch. My bed isn't my friend. & I want to call her so bad but I don't want to interrupt her sleep; just in case she IS in fact sleeping tonight. I think I'm going to make myself sick, I can literally feel it building in the pit of my stomach.

to anyone that knows me; knows I've never been a fan of Beyonce; but I gave her a chance; with this song & maybe I love it cause i feel like i can relate but it's beautiful. Lol, maybe I will give that album a listen once more. Don't let me down B.

Oh lookie here; Sunlight seems to shine on Beyonce's face. How did I skip over this album? Was my dislike for her so strong? I remember being asked if I liked this album & my response was "I don't like Beyonce, she's annoying". I still think she's annoying at times. I just happen to like the following songs off her most recent albums.

  1. Disappear ***
  2. Halo *****
  3. Broken hearted girl ****
  4. Scared of lonely ****
  5. Radio ****
  6. Sweet Dreams *****
  7. Video Phone ****
  8. Smash Into You **
that makes a full half of the album that I like. =] Or maybe it's just my mind frame at the moment that likes it; either way. Take a listen if you haven't already. It's now minutes to 5 in the morning. I know I should be sleeping but I can't seem to find the right position; that will keep me comforted through the early morning hours; but I feel a little more at peace with myself. Music seems to work like some sort of medicine. Good night or is it Good morning. blah. & Just before I thought it couldn't get worst, I did exactly that I thought I was going to do. Make myself sick, but now that I've gotten that out of my system. I think I'll be able to sleep, but whats a couple rounds of video games @ 5:11 in the morning? lol later.